The One That Got Away

As I approach my 30th (fine, 32nd) birthday, and since moving back to Perth, I’ve been thinking more on the relationships that didn’t eventuate to anything because I ended them. People who were genuinely good people and who I’d otherwise have considered compatible but came along at the wrong time in my life.

Rugby Player

I guess the first really is more down to just “what could have happened”. He wasn’t someone I really knew, just a passing moment where I almost made one decision and then decided to go another way.

One night, when I was around 18 or 19, in Nedlands, myself, a close friend and my (now) ex went to the pub. I hadn’t drunk too much as I was the designated driver, but my ex and my friend definitely had a few. My friend decided to try their luck picking up, and because of this we ended up with a group of people.

This attractive guy, who said he was an amerture rugby player was spending a whole lot of the night flirting with me, which I found quite funny. But he was quite genuine and ended up inviting me to The Court (a crappy gay bar run by an ex porn star who managed to marry and divorce someone who had enough money to make her a supposed socialite, but I digress).

The night went on, I had to drop my ex and my friend home, which I did. The guy, again, said I should come out. I said I might meet him there. After dropping my ex home, I found myself in a foul mood driving towards The Court. Me and my ex had another fight and I was about done with him.

But, I wasn’t single. I hadn’t broken up with him at that stage. So in going to The Court, it was likely I would end up cheating on him. So I turned around. Never ever saw the rugby player again.

Me and my ex ended up breaking up, it was messy and that was that. I’m always curious about what would have become if I had of gone ‘fuck it’ and hooked up with the rugby guy.

Traffic Man

After that last mentioned ex, I went on a few dates here and there. One person sticks out as he was an extremely nice and friendly and genuine guy. He worked as a traffic controller which meant a lot of his nights he was busy. But he made a lot of effort and was always sweet, friendly and a nice all-round guy. I’ll call him Matt for this story.

I met him at a time where I was just not ready for a relationship. I wanted to be, as he was awfully nice and deserved to meet someone who loved him for what he was. Unfortunately this tale is a tragedy, not a happy ever after.

See, I had dated someone else during that period. No, not at the same time, they were separate. The other person I dated, who’s name for this scenario will be Dean (obviously not his real name), was, for all I could work out, a psychopath.

Dean lied, cheated, stole and was a gaslighting little turd. But at the time, I didn’t care that much. I was stupid.

Ultimately, I had broken it off with both of them, so they were both single. But I didn’t end those friendships either. Long story short, Matt and Dean both met each other through me and started to date.

Dean was, well, a shit human being. He manipulated and used Matt for his own ends and ultimately got Matt hooked on Meth. Matt lost a lot of weight and cut ties with a hell of a lot of people and disappeared in to the ether.

The last time I saw Matt, about 3 years ago, he was a shell of what he once was. Trying to beat the addiction and his friendly, cheerful attitude was all but destroyed. He had this weird attachment to Dean that wasn’t healthy and that he seemed unable to shake.

Unfortunately, I was never able to find common ground with Matt since the drugs became an issue, so we never ever became friends again. He’s just another person I used to know and someone who deserved so much more from life.